Do you talk like a mom baby?

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Melissa Willets

posted in Parenting

The other day I was at a park with my kids when I met her. The elusive mom baby. Perhaps you've also come across one of these baby grown-ups, or, um, you talk like one yourself?

Here's how to know. You see, mom babies have their own language. They speak like this to their babies or small kids:

"Should we change your diapie?"

"What does the sheepie say?"

"Do we want a snackie?"

Everything she says is s-u-p-e-r e-x-a-g-g-e-r-a-t-e-d. And she speaks in a voice that's about 20 decibels higher than her normal voice, almost like she inhaled helium and is trying to be funny. Except she's dead serious.

And yes, she's out in public. Because aren't we all guilty of getting a little (very) goofy with our kids when we are in the privacy of our own homes? I mean, I call pee, pee-pee. I refer to my youngest daughter as my "wittle, wittle baby." But then I go out into the world, and tone it down a bit. I'm not running around the mall asking if my daughter wants a "drinkie winkie."

I'm not a baby. I'm a grown up. So I try to talk like one.

Are you a mom baby?

Look, I get it. You're in the baby world. All. The. Time. Your life is changing diapers, and making bottles, and washing onesies, and watching Sesame Street. But that doesn't mean you have to talk like Elmo all the time. Especially since your child is learning how to talk from you. Don't you want them to say "diaper" instead of "diapie wipie?"

But if for no other reason, please, I beg of any mom baby reading this, to stop because it's so annoying! Maybe it's just me, but it's kinda hard to start a conversation with a fellow mom at the park who is talking like a baby constantly. I envision our conversation being something like this:

Mom baby: "Want mommy to push you on the swingie wingie?"

Me: "So, what do you think of the removal of confederate statues?"

Mom baby: "It's about timie wimie."

Me: "Huh? Um, do you know where the closest Starbucks is?"

Mom baby: "Does mommy need a coffee woffie?"

Me: "Now I need some winey."

How a mom baby talks

I know our convo wouldn't really go like this. But it's just sad to see a mom so stuck in baby world that she's forgotten how to complete a real sentence. If this is you, don't feel bad. The truth is, we've all been there. I have spent days (weeks?) stuck in the house with my three little ones listening to "Music Together" CDs, and playing blocks, and doling out yogurt bites, not showering, and not coming in contact with another adult other than my husband. It's enough to make any mom revert back to her most primal state of existence.

But when you are lucky enough to get out of the house and join the human race, talk like you're a grown-up, not an 18-month-old. Please.

Do mom babies annoy you too, or should we all just give up and start talking like babies to one another?

If moms behaved like babies, it might look something like this:

The post Do you talk like a mom baby? appeared first on BabyCenter Blog.

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